Toddler Funnies: Take the Quiz to See if you Live with a Toddler

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Living with a toddler can be hectic.  They can be so much fun, but by their nature, they are sure to turn into little terrors every once in a while.  They can be so sweet and cute, but then they can wreak havoc on every inch of your house the next second.  Just depends what mood they are in, and what day it is.
I’m guessing you probably already know if you live with a toddler.  If you are attracted to parenting blogs, it’s probably because you are already a parent.  And the other big clue is that you are probably aware of your household’s members.  It’s also probably your kid or your sibling, or some other family member.  Nevertheless, I’d like you to take a quiz about how to tell if you live with a toddler.  In case you have amnesia, the following quiz will tell you if you, indeed, do live with a toddler.  In the case that you have a fully functioning brain, and know the answer already, amuse yourself and read on anyway; I think you’ll enjoy it.
1. Do you find foam letters, wooden blocks, plastic stretchy fish, or any and every other toy imaginable stuffed into every nook and cranny of your house/furniture?
     a. Yes!
     b. Nope
     c. Not sure, have never checked out a nook nor a cranny in my house.
2. Does your attempt of cleaning the kitchen floor on your hands and knees inevitably turn into a “horsey ride” for a tiny human being’s enjoyment as he climbs onto your back?
     a. Sure does
     b. Not so much
     c. I’ve never cleaned my floor.
3. Have you found yourself yelling, “We do not bite doggies!” or “No throwing kittens!” or something similar, on more occasions than you thought possible?
     a. Oh my goodness, yes.
     b. Never
     c. Kittens? Doggies?  I prefer the companionship of the once extinct dodo bird that the scientists working in my family’s lab have brought back to life.
4. Do all your grocery lists and notes to yourself end up with uncoordinated scribbles all over them?
     a. Yes, I can barely read what I wrote!
     b. No, they sure don’t
     c. I don’t write; I have my maids transcribe my oral instructions and relay the information to me later.
5. Are you prepared to give away tiny spoonfuls of every meal, snack, or treat you make for yourself?
     a. Yes
     b. No, I get every bite to myself.
     c. Heavens no, what a bother!  My meals in my formal dining room, with my china, my actually silver silverware, and meticulously prepared 7 course meals by world class chefs, are a time for me to enjoy a meal to myself.
6. Are all your meals interrupted with the sound of your carefully thought out menu splattering onto the kitchen floor, walls, windows, table, etc.?
     a. Yes, sure are
     b. No, maam
     c. Food?! On my marble furnishings?! For heaven’s sake, no!
7. Are there times in which your ears are filled with constant nonsense jabbering of random syllables that range in intensity and decibel level from a sweet whisper to an adamant shout?
     a. Yeppers
     b. No, my conversations are coherent
     c. What a bother.  I prefer the live classical music my pianist plays on our grand baby piano by the den.
8. Do you already get sad thinking about the day this little person will be a grown and independent adult?  (Or if you are experiencing pregnancy hormones, and have an excuse, burst into tears at the thought?)
     a. 😦 Yes!
     b. That’s ridiculous.
     c. I do when I think about how sad it would be to lose all my money and be but a measly millionaire.
Mostly As
Congrats!  You live with a toddler!  You are shaping the life of another human being and doing a great job.
Mostly Bs
No, you do not live with a toddler.  Your free time is thoroughly enjoyed, but don’t get too comfortable.  Some day, you, too, may live with a toddler.
Mostly Cs
You could be living with a toddler, but he or she may live in a different wing of your mansion, taken care of by nannies.
Whatever your answers, thank you so much for taking the quiz.  I hope you enjoyed taking it as much as I enjoyed writing it!  And if you have a tot, however your day is going with him or her, remember to thank God for your toddler.  He and/or she is a gift from God and you’ve been given a huge responsibility because God knows you can handle it and excel in this role.  There will be difficult times, but keeping a lighthearted approach and a sense of humor always helps 🙂  Keep marching on, and take the time to stop and notice the good times, and Thank God for your Life!
Oh and if you have another telltale sign that you live with a toddler, please let me know!
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