Putting all my faith in God about the outcome of my life has been so liberating. It gets me off the ambitious habit and makes me realize that I can do and do and do to try and try and try to accomplish this or that, but in the end, whatever’s meant to happen will. Of course what I do will have an impact on the result, so I will try and accomplish something if I think I’m meant to, but I’m starting to realize that God will answer my prayers if I’m meant to do something, or He won’t if they’re not in His plans. Just like my veterinary degree wishes, He knew it wasn’t right for me, and thankfully didn’t allow me in to the program. He knew what was best for me, regardless of what I thought it was at the time with my oh-so-limited human visibility. But, I learned from going through that experience and can learn even more in retrospect.
Right now I feel like I need to share my gift of writing, and have ambitions of becoming an author. But what if God already knows I couldn’t handle it? What if I’m only meant to influence a handful of people via my blog, and one of these readers will, in turn, be influenced to delve into such worthy topics, and become a great author or speaker and go on to inspire the hundred of thousands of people that I dream of getting these truths out to?
It will be so much more relaxing when I can fully embrace the mindset of letting God’s will be. I realize He knows what’s best in my life in a much more profound way than I could ever reason it to be as a human. Maybe it sounds like a copout, but I’m not saying I won’t work hard at anything, because I know God can only help those who will help themselves; I’m just relieved to know that I don’t have to worry about getting ahead even when my hard work doesn’t pay off, because what His will is…. will happen. Maybe I’m just meant to raise a family, and raise them so well my kids can go on to be good influences when they’re engineers, or factory workers, or whatever they’re meant to be. I want to be fully okay with whatever it is that God is calling me to do, and not be so anxious about finding out exactly what that is!