I’ve observed that many adults, well, twenty-somethings usually, because that’s my peer age group, still blame their parents for things that are wrong in their own lives. Well, as adults, we can cut the strings if they are still doing things that are interfering in our lives. Or, we can realize that bad things are not their fault at all, that maybe they didn’t teach us the things we wish we knew because they themselves didn’t know it, or didn’t realize it’d be important in our lives.
Either be a victim your whole life, which is unarguably the easier route, and be sad about what you’re parents did or didn’t teach you, or did or didn’t do in your life, or you can take control of your life and educate yourself on whatever you feel like you’re lacking in. Be thankful for whatever your parents did in your life because it led you to this point, and now you have the opportunity to better it.
If, however, you are under 18 and/or are still living with your parents….sorry, you still have a while to go. You must listen to your parents’ rules while living under their roof, but at least you can get some practice in of having an attitude of gratitude towards your parents. Also, it helps to make mental (or physical, if you’re super serious) notes of how you do and don’t want to run your own household in the future, or what kind of parent you want to be. You have the power to do it differently in your adult life, or do it just the same if there’s nothing you want to change. It’s so nice to be an adult in control of your own life!
I found myself blaming my parents for a while for bad things in my life. For example, I was racked up the student loans (now fully paid off- thanks Dave Ramsey) while in college and lived it up! Then, when the money came due, I was mad that my parents hadn’t taught me about personal finance. Now, it was nothing dramatic nor did it create a family feud, as I never even told my parents I was mad about this, but it was an internal begrudge I felt that wasn’t healthy. But after the debt was paid off, and I became a parent, I realized that my parents didn’t teach me about personal finance because it wasn’t important to them to teach me. How could I be mad at them for not teaching me a curriculum they didn’t even know about? My victim mentality was useless. Then I felt even worse, because my parents didn’t teach me to be a victim or entitled, and there I was for a few years, an entitled victim! I don’t know if I got this terrible attitude because the generation I belong to, or if I should blame it on my young age, but I’m happy to say it’s gone and replaced with a much healthier one. I hope my own children will realize when they are grown that I taught them as much as I could and not blame me for any omissions! May they have the strength and wisdom that I chose to ignore in myself.